Tarzan, my Paw Paw and my brother were my heroes growing up. One was king of the jungle, two influenced my moral compass.
My brother had a clubhouse in our barn. Way up in the rafters, down the center beam of the barn, ran a steel beam pulley system with a 2-inch-thick rope attached. All designed for loading hay and stacking bales for the mules. The narrow end of the barn was open in the top third with a 2x6 spanning, creating the cross section as if a capital letter A. One lone broken board remained above this cross beam about knee high.
My friend Anita and I would watch my brother and his moped riding friends scale the outside narrow barn end to the cross beam and pull themselves up to a standing position secure next to the lone broken upright board. One of the boys in the hay pile would swing the rope to the standing boy who would then swing and drop to the hay.
At the age of 7, I wanted to join the boys and ride on the moped. The bet was made; swing from the rope and it was a deal. Anita was there egging me on.
Just like Tarzan (not Jane, as she needed help all the time), I scaled the broken boards outside the barn, reached the top cross beam with my heart beating and big boys watching and managed to belly up like getting on a horse to the top beam, using the broken silvery weathered board to pull and stand.
That left Anita with the chore of throwing me the rope and left me with the need to let go of my one lifesaving board. It took about three or four tries, but I caught it and then realized I had to do something with it. At that point there was really only one way down. Aah-eeh-aah-eeh-aaah-eeh-ah-eeh-aaah! I swished through the air and dropped. Boy, was that fun — the kind of fun we repeated all summer!
My brother’s greatest influences were my Paw Paw and the Boy Scouts. He was an Eagle Scout and lived his oath or motto all through his life. A man of faith and integrity, he never stopped his efforts to aid his sisters and mother. He was my moral compass and he inherited that from Paw Paw.
We all lived in the house I live in now, that my grandfather built for my Mama. Paw Paw was born in 1881, his morals, manners and station in life influenced by his mother, Nee Martha Elizabeth Holliday, born from an aristocratic Southern plantation, Long Moss, in Sharon, Mississippi.
Paw Paw expected my brother to wear a long-sleeved shirt over his T-shirt to mow the grass. It was not acceptable to be outside in one’s underwear garments. His word was final, and appealing to mother was not allowed or useless at any rate.
I always wanted to take up for my brother. One year, he received cards and poker chips for Christmas, most likely picked out by my sister Dorothy. Brother and Bobby Stovall were playing poker at the table in the living room in front of the floor-length windows closest to the kitchen. Paw Paw passed by, saw the chips and said the chips were not allowed in this house.
Using logic, I spoke up and asked why was he given them for Christmas then. He didn’t need to answer, just repeating, “put those chips away.” The card game resumed with pennies again passing though they were instructed to not use pennies for gambling. Not to be deterred, matchsticks were next to be used. Same story. Finally, when the boys used tiny pieces of paper and they were banned, they decided to find another activity. To this day, I will not go to a casino and gamble. I used to work in one in Las Vegas as a secretary but I don’t even go to the casino buffets here in Mississippi.
My grandfather and my mother always said a man’s word is his bond. I grew up with these words not knowing what a bond was but understanding that you needed to honor your promise and not lie. He also spoke some Choctaw growing up. He was a banker and a real estate broker. Growing up with these two men as my steadfast heroes gave me the strongest foundation that will carry me till I die. I’m including my mother’s teachings she learned from her father as a given.
As an adult, my late mother-in-law, Dickey McMullen, set some strong moral guidance that aligned comfortably with how I was raised and gave me a feeling of homecoming in the northern state of Iowa. The first example that defined her nature and integrity occurred even before I married her son Clark.
She knew we would be attending Christmas at her house. She has a grandson, Joey Allen, six months younger than my son Leigh. She shopped for gifts in the same size and same price with the same size bow. She fretted that one gift was $20.00 and one gift was $19.99, and she wanted to put a piece of penny candy or a coin on the other but decided that neither was a safe choice so she apologized to me.
The remaining years as her daughter-in-law were filled with all the blessings that made her my grown-up hero. My daughter enjoyed her influence and inherited her business sense.
The best heroes are always homegrown.
